I usually don't read fanfics, just write them - although you can't really find any of mine here, because I am to lazy to stick with a story after a few chapters... But I found this when I was looking for my hubby, Zico, and this was the only one. So I gave it a shot.
I have to say that I am pleasantly surprised, because it had my attention from beginning to end. The reason why I dont read much fanfics is that there are very few that are able to keep my interest (I was an avid reader before and now "just interesting" isn't enough. The writing style must be good, the sentences must have a proper flow, the author's style/voice must shine through and the characters MUST be good... and have this complexity hanging over them). So... * applause*
It is good and all... and I have a feeling that I might continue this story... will be tracking it at least (can't throw a gem into a dispenser O_o), but I don't understand why she put her hand around his neck (Hands down I totally understand why our hero...anti-hero? freaked... I would too if I was an assaulter). Don't get me wrong, I get it that there is something between them that draws HIM to her, and when his nose brushed her (cheek or nose? Because it said, his nose against hers (against her nose?), lightly brushing against her cheek (so.. from her nose to her cheek?) just a tiny detail that stopped my tracks) she felt something familiar.. that far I get. But maybe it's just me, you know, but an assaulter is an assaulter, right? So, what's up with that reaction? I quote: "...she was going to be killed or raped and no one would hear her screams." *Ahem* then why would she respond that way? Would it not be more creepy and/or repulsive if the touch of someone who, seemingly have the intention to kill or rape her (although WE know he is just after her blood, as if that is a better alternative) seems familiar + her body seems to enjoy?
I am I too harsh? Believe me, it's not my intention, but there are pros and cons for everything right? And these are mine as a reader of the first chapter.