Author's Chapter Notes

This chapter is my 2012 going away gift to all of you :) I love all of my readers and I want to give you all a big warm *BURNING lol* hug this holiday season.

Hope you had a great Christmas and that you'll be having a greater New Years Eve Bash.

FYI if you want to go back and read some of the earlier chapters of this story before reading this chapter that would probably help quite a bit

“You look nice Lillith.” Ikuta Toma grabbed a shot and downed it like water and then picked up another. Rie could only make a disgusted face that made him laugh.

“Thank you.” What did he want her to say? There was a gun whose head was pointing beside her on the bar and the guy in front of her didn't look sane.

She played with her fingers thinking back to the night before and the way Mukai had held her all night, cradling her in his arms sorry for everything that had happened to her here when he couldn’t protect her.

“Lillith, Lillith.” He gulped as he finished the fifth of the seven shots he had laid out for himself. He swiveled in the chair facing her directly and placed his hands on her bare thighs without a care. “Did you know- the girl I loved left me? Forever? Isn’t that sad? Don’t you feel sad for me? Don't you want to drink with me?"

She looked pointedly at the firearm beside them and raised an eyebrow. "Is that how you get all your girls to sleep with you?" She saw Toma's face fall slack as he stared at her and it was disconcerting. This was not the Ikuta she was used to seeing looking at her. She directed her gaze downwards again before he could say much else. Her red nails were far more interesting to look at anyways compared to his perfect god-gifted bone structure. “I did indeed know Christine left you. It is sad and I’m sorry.” Every word sounded even more unfeeling than the one before but Toma still smiled thankfully, even if it was obvious she was lying.

Despite his better judgement she was sure, she felt him shift himself forward using her thighs to balance himself. He was close enough that she could smell his breath that reeked of vodka.

It was made her stomach twist over itself.

The warmth from his palms was sinking delightfully through the skin of her legs, making her lip quiver ever so lightly. She could only pray he didn't notice how nervous he was making her.

After what seemed like ages of his hands on her, he spoke. “Thank you!”

Then he did the most unexpected thing of all.

He hugged her.

Rie could only sit doe-eyed and scared as rabbit in the embrace of a wolf. His arms over her body were strong, and his grip on the fabric of her shirt iron tight. It felt like her limbs were being crushed and his face in her neck pushed her back to her first night here and how-

Before she knew what she was doing she had pushed him back in his chair so hard that he almost flew backwards.

He didn’t seem to mind though, he was still laughing as happily as before, but every snicker that flew past his mouth broke her heart a little more. Nothing about it sounded real. When had he become a robot? Did it even matter?

Had she been foolish to think she could save a man who didn't exist in this shell?

“I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have done that. I know you’re a very respectable girl.” He nodded sighing tiredly as he grabbed another glass and drank it down. His hands raked through his hair and she blinked quickly trying to swallow the urge to follow his fingers. He seemed to be reveling in the relaxation his hands brought on his skin.

“I should be going…the club isn’t opening today is it? I’m sorry for disturbing you. I really am sorry about Christine.” She quickly stood up and bowed unable to look at him in the eye as she dashed out. This was not a safe situation for her to be in, she barely trusted this guy and even when he was drunk which should have been his disadvantage she felt like she was trapped.

It was only when she finally reached the exit doors of the club and pulled hard she realized that she wasn’t just metaphorically trapped with her predator.

No matter how hard she tried to pull on the metal handles they wouldn’t budge as if they had been-

“Locked. I’ve locked you in here with me.” He turned around on the swivel bar stool. His face bright and smiling at her as he lifted himself from his seat. He was wearing plain clothes today, no shirts or suits or anything of the sort. Just jeans and a simple black polo.

She didn’t respond. He slowly walked up to her from his spot. She let her eyes follow his footsteps. Though he was drunk his direction didn’t waver one bit. He reached for her grabbing her hand and placing their enjoined fingers in the air above their head. “Are you scared?” When she refused to look up, a fury found its way in his tone. "Look at me Lillith!"

“No.” She flicked her eyes upwards and felt her throat constrict at the sight of his teeth stretched into a smile that looked ready to bite into her. “No. I’m not scared of you.”

He leaned down near her, his lips lined up with her ear speaking words that could only leave her legs shaking as she leaned on the wall for support. “Words that will definitely get you killed one day.”

He shifted himself off her just enough so that the gap between them was more prominent. It was strange how she would have preferred to have him close because having him his far meant he could look her up and down as he liked. It wouldn't be hard for him to see how vulnerable she really was in front of him right now. “What made you come here?”

“Excuse me?” He wasn’t letting her move even though the space between them was increasing as he shifted back but her hands remained held tightly in his.

“What made you come back the first night Lillith?” The carnivorous look in his eyes only intensified as she squirmed against the wall.

“I wanted to.” She grimaced, even to her ears it sounded like a cop-out of an answer.

“It’s that simple?”

“Yeah. It is.” The shorter her answers, the less she gave him a chance to twist them against her. The moment he let go of her she was going to dart to the far side of the stage. There had to be a back exit. She hadn’t used it yet but Toma wouldn’t have been smart enough to lock it, not if he was actually drinking.

Without a warning she felt a hand pressed up against the left side of her chest and she looked down at it in shock. It wasn’t exactly grabbing her breast or anything inappropriate, but it flattened and pushed down on the flesh so hard a blunt sort of pain bounced back to her nerves.

“Does your heart always beat like this around me?”

Vulnerable. It had happened. She had to leave. Now.

Without making herself overly obvious she scanned the way their bodies were positioned to see how she could twist out of this. His other hand was busy holding both her wrists and so its hold was weakening. He was probably getting tired, his own arm having been held up for a while.

She took in a deep breath. A little longer Rie…a little longer… she leaned her head forward shocking him as he backed up but she managed to stretch far enough to let her ear lie directly on his chest growing pleasantly surprised by the sound beating underneath. His heart was pumping away furiously fast and she wished she could check his pulse to feel the light throb of it. “You’re one to talk Ikuta… sounds like I’m not the only one nervous here.” He looked so stumped that before she could fully comprehend the freeness of her wrist she was just stuck staring at him.

She wasn’t quite sure what she’d said that would astound him like this but his mouth was open like a goldfish and if the moment was any moment but now she would have laughed and shut it close. A strange move for her and this guy who she had found herself caring about...but she would have wanted to do it anyways.

Luckily she managed to snap out of their stumped awareness of how they felt around each other first. Quickly with her free hands she pushed hard on his chest, letting her leg fly back to knock him twice with the back of her heel so he fell backwards. Stumped he looked at his chest and then his hand, his drunkness becoming her advantage as he stumbled to run after her. So they had been real shots.

She lunged forward and grabbed onto the railing to the stage rushing towards the back door. Toma may have been drunk but he was faster than her that was for sure. “There’s nowhere to run Lillith!” He boomed out as she almost reached the curtains that separated the magic of music from the madness that inspired it.

She could hear the cold air of the night whistling behind the door but then she felt that same iron grip that had all but broken her limbs earlier around her hips.

He’d managed to grab her but he was in the air and his fall took them both down onto the wood of the stage. They banged against the plain brown surface and she felt her elbow crack and screamed out feeling the pain course through her.

It wasn’t broken but the impact of the fall had left her arm severely damaged for now. She shut her eyes panting heavily trying to bite her lip to distract herself. Her arm wasn’t healed and now her elbow was stuck useless to her and the blinding pain in her eyes and the searing stage lights over her head were making her dizzy.

That was when she felt it, a large weight was on top of her cutting off her circulation and she gasped as she opened her eyes when she felt a pair of lips land on hers wrestling her lower lip from her teeth into his mouth. His tongue ran past her flesh making her stomach turn over itself. He smelled like sweat and alcohol and she could taste the vodka on his lips making her whimper. She tried to shift out from under him but he wouldn’t let go and she shut her eyes scrunching them when she felt his hold on her wrists tighten. Every time she’d try to scream his teeth would bite down on her lip and she’d feel like screaming more.

He let go of her hand, finding a new occupation for it underneath her head lifting it higher to meet his and she gulped. The way he held it was so- gentle and unexpectedly caring. As if he was holding something like a baby, careful to never let it fall.

But just as careful as he was with her head he was firm with it, unrelenting and refusing to let her part from him for air and she felt like she was going to faint. He was pushing her, for what reason or for what extreme she didn’t understand. She felt the tips of his fingers land against her scalp, an almost heavenly tingly feeling running itself down from her head to her toes.

Pain. Pleasure. Aggravation. Lust.

She was blind now emotionally and mentally. Like her whole body and mind was on overdrive and auto-pilot at the same time.

Finally, it seemed like he couldn’t breathe either because they parted for a minute as they both choked back large gasps of air. Each of them was too weak to move apart, so they chose to stay together for now. She wished she had left though when she felt his teeth grind into her neck and her hips buckle upwards to meet his lift. His shirt had shifted up and she felt the heat of his skin against hers.

She became vaguely aware of a loud snap and tiny little marbles of buttons flying around her as he groaned parting the see through fabric of her shirt. His mouth became occupied with biting his way down her body, his tongue teasing the exposed skin of her breasts.

She should have said something, she knew that, but all she could manage was a sound. A sound that encouraged his hands to take his shirt off his head as he brought his head back down to meet her quivering lips. As he shifted up she felt his knee lightly brush past her shorts and put her hands over her eyes.

Not only was this wrong, it was the scariest thing she had ever done and she couldn’t stop it. It wasn’t a force but more just a path, or maybe more like an escalator that she was stuck on and she knew no matter how far she tried to run back down she’d always end up going back up anyways.

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to run away from where he was taking her either.

Nothing that felt this good could be so wrong...right?

She forgot for a moment who they were, what the fuck they were trying to do to each other, and she grasped his head and pushed it down harder against hers though there was no way he could be any closer to her than he already was. His hands felt shaky as the tweaked her skin under her shirt. If she was worried about how scared she was, she realized that he was no less because really right now nothing they were doing made any sense.

Why the fuck had he kissed her anyways?

She tilted back feeling her body arch to meet his figure. His breaths held shudders and he shifted off her freely now that he realized she wasn’t moving out from under him that he had her exactly where he’d wanted her this whole time.

She felt her body snap up right as her thoughts echoed inside her mind. Toma was too busy making her neck his new toy and she writhed for a second under his grasp trying to clear her mind of the daze he’d put her in so quickly.

Her arms were wrapped around him, when had they done that?! They were gripping him like a life line!

Her nails were lost in the flesh of his back and if it hurt he didn’t seem to make it apparent. Her working elbow seemed to bend awkwardly at his side, almost pulling him into her and she gulped.

No, no she needed to stop. She was going to speak, and say something, anything to get this to stop because it wasn’t right and “

Before she could continue her thoughts she felt her mind go blank at the feeling of his mouth on hers again.

This time though she fought back, biting his lips as he yelped and jumped off her and for the first time they looked at what they’d done.

It was like whatever autopilot she'd been on finally turned off and she felt her hand rise to her mouth as she bent over herself staring at him, heaving and panting.

They could have gone to a place they could never come back from.

Hell, they were already halfway there.

The back of his chest wasn’t the only place her hands had involuntarily gone. The red marks were lined against the entirety of his chest, his hair was the messiest she’d ever seen and she scrambled seeing the way his lips looked. Puffy but not overly so, she felt herself touch her own lips and wondered what they looked like. “What the fuck was that?” Her whisper came out harsher than she intended because the moment the words flew out of her mouth his gaze- previously brimmed with desire- became steely as he remained positioned dangerously over her face. His arms came down at either side trapping her, and she wondered how strong he could be that he could remain in the push up position for this long. The veins on his arms almost twitched with stress.

“I wanted to.” The irony of the response was not lost on her as he let his head fall by her ear. “That’s why you came back right? You said it yourself. You wanted to.”

She felt her heart stop. He did this to use her words against her? To make it sound like this is what she came back for?!

She shut her eyes tightly and kicked her leg up narrowly avoiding his groin and threw him off her as she rolled out away from him quickly. “Fuck you Ikuta.”

“You almost did.” He laughed quickly standing up after her as she made a move to leave again but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back. For a second they froze as she looked at the hand in disbelief as it squeezed her hurt arm harder and she flinched. It wasn't bleeding at least, or if it was it was sheilded under the gauze for now. She shot him a disgusted look as she tried to wrestle it away, effort and frustration clearly showing on her face.

There was simply no way she could ever allow herself to stumble back into that situation again. She could never prove him right.

She used her good arm to throw a punch straight to his face. Right before she could gain control of her arm again, she felt his hand switch occupation. He grabbed her fighting arm and pulled on it roughly so that she was thrown off balance. She let her feet kick up around her struggling around his iron grip to reach into a power kick to his abdomen. She narrowed her eyes when she saw his fists tighten.

Now that they had paused for a second she let out a heavy breath and took a look at him. The area where she’d hit him was coloring quite nicely, she smirked to herself. If she didn’t know it was blood that lay under the pink of his cheeks she would have thought he was blushing. She let her eyes drift down to his clenched fists. They were simply an inch away from bruising her beyond recognition.

Good, she wanted him to hit her. That was probably the only way she’d forsake this guy, and finally realize herself that she’d made him a halfway decent person when really he was nothing worse than a gangster who knew how to use his tongue well.

For a foolish second her internal demon reminded her of exactly how he had used it a few seconds ago.

A quake ran through her body as she shook the image from her mind, her body was far less compacent choosing to betray her and remember the moment. “Do it.” She panted. “Hit me. You know you’re fighting every instinct you have to hold yourself back from hitting me.” She stepped a little closer barely aware of the desperation in her voice when she said it. “Just hit me and get it over with.” If he hit her, she could fight him. She could ruin him…then it would be that easy.

He looked shocked like she’d even suggest such a thing. “I’m not going to hit you.” She took his stupor to her advantage. She had no qualms about hitting him. His grip on her wrist loosened for just a second but it was enough for her to pull away and jump backwards in a circle quickly letting her right leg circle back to where she’d originally stood to throw a loop kick down to his chest.

He was too quick though and he dodged away before her foot could collide with his chest.

Instead by the time her feet had landed squarely on the ground she was grabbed from the back and thrown against the wall. The cool concrete was almost welcome against her body which had felt like, for the past while now, it was lit on fire.

Even with the pressure on the back of her shoulder blades, her body relaxed now that it was sandwiched comfortably between an immovable object and Ikuta Toma’s hatred. A shine from his hand caught her eye and she tilted her head back to see what it was blowing out stray strands of hair that had found their way in her mouth after their fight.

Her blood ran cold as she turned her head back quickly, a tremor running through her bones.

A needle.

She could fight against fists, and power. Needles though? Chemicals? What the hell was in that thing anyway? It could fuck up her mind, paralyze her, or worse kill her right on the spot.

She saw his hand rise.

No fucking way that thing was touching her. Summoning her left over strength she managed to evade the pressure of his arms and duck down straight to the ground before it could pierce the skin on her arm. She didn’t waste time as she heard him curse behind her feet as she ran.

She didn’t know where she was running. She was sealed tightly into this room with him. She knew that but anything was better than letting him get her with that thing.

There was definitely a plan beyond what he’d tried to make her believe. He hadn’t kissed her for nothing, and definitely not because he wanted to.

Ikuta Toma didn't do things because he wanted to do them.

Neither did she.

She tried to move faster but he’d caught up faster than expected. His pace was slower but his legs were longer than hers. She could hear his every growl grow louder in her ears as she tried to calm her own frantic heartbeat.

This time his arm came around her shoulders bringing her backwards against his chest with more force than required. She felt her elbow collide with his stomach but even though he grunted his pain he didn’t move away from her. His arm acted like a firm lock that refused to budge, he just held on tighter as she thrashed against him only serving to move him backwards until he collided with a pillar.

Ikuta’s shirt was still off to the side and the heat from his chest was permeating through to her back and she gulped. Like her body wasn’t already flaring up from everything it’d been put through today from fearing for her life to fearing for her soul.

She shut her eyes as she saw the light of the club glint on the tip of the needle. She didn’t want to be meek but if she was going out like this she wanted to know what it was that was going to bring her down. “So what is it? Is it heroin? Is that a lethal dose? Will you kill me?”

That caught him off guard but his hold remained steady only a scoff let her know he’d heard her. Strands of her hair touched his breath and kissed her skin as he spoke. “Don’t be stupid Lillith. This is just to knock you out.”

She shut her eyes tightly. There was only one last thing she could do-

It was too late she felt the needle pierce through the skin on her arm. Without a moment’s hesitation, with her last waking moments she let her head bend down to his arm and felt his skin enter her mouth as she bit down as hard as she could.

The bitter taste of iron flooded her mouth as she started to lose consciousness. While a slumber came over her and lulled her to a dream land far preferable to Tryst she saw Ikuta cradling his hand as he screamed soundlessly. He watched her smile as she escaped this world if for a few minutes but not before she heard him curse. “FUCK LILLITH YOUR FUCKING TEETH.”

If she was going down…she wasn’t going to go down without a fight.


Author's Chapter End Notes

...what the fuck happened O.O?

First of all...if you guys can help me out. This is the first time I've done a really intensive action fighting scene. If you could let me know how I did in a review :) I would really appreciate it.

This is also one of my first smut scenes where I've tried VERY hard to plug in a lot of emotions and thoughts from one person's point of view...I'm scared it was messy so let me know what you think also :)

Those were the two new things I tried really hard to do in this chapter.

Other than that...I know what you're thinking guys!


Yes it is 'tomorrow' in the AtoA land. In a few hours actually.

Yes...we are coming to the climax :) (like Rie...LOL XD jkjk)

Please look forward to the next chapter that will come out next year :D

Until then...


"This is only buying me time to figure out what she’s doing here.”

"I dated my professor at the Police Academy. I wasn’t planning on it being anything serious…but it turned out to be. So I applied to Drug Control. That was where he worked. I got in. I’d graduated at the top of my class last May you know?”

"Yokohama?! Why is it-"

“I was right wasn’t I? In the end, you’re going to have to kill me."

Happy Holidays lovelies :) Muah!!


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