The Lines Between Life and Death

Author's Chapter Notes

This has a very desperate housewives feeling.

I want to cry when I read this chapter.

So maybe you will too.

The room was a five by four. There was three windows, two seats and one man.

And this man sat with his head crouched between his knees much like his wife had fifteen hours ago. This man had not been able to have a wink of sleep and while the rest of the family had ushered in and out of this waiting area this man had not moved, had not taken so much as a loud annoying breath without the permission of his wife.


He hated himself for putting her through this. The amount of stress and pressure that he’d given her had pushed her into early labour. An OR nurse had come outside and explained the situation to him quickly before rushing back into the room she was required to be in. He was told that she was probably experiencing some light pain until her water broke and there was multiple complications that were occuring in Erika's delivery.

He hoped to god that his wife and his child were both healthy. He didn’t know what he would do if they weren’t. He could hear the continual screams coming from the room. Meisa was in there with Nao, for once both of them didn’t care at all about the presence of the other. They were not there to look at themselves but look after the most prized possession in both their lives.

The most prized possession in his life. He hated himself for putting her through this, most of all he hated himself for not being able to stand beside her as his daughter struggled to gain life, and not steal it from her own mother.

The OR nurse walked back out and Jin was immediately on his knees looking down at the shorter woman as if she was his salvation.

The woman's face betrayed nothing as she relayed to him the happenings he had missed out in the OR. “She’s having complications. She’s not asking for you…but we’ve discovered that in her case she has had extreme stress on her heart and her body was unable to handle it, her heartbeat has gone up and- I’m sorry to say she might not make it sir. We’re doing our level best sir. Your baby has been delivered and is being taken into th-“

Jin couldn’t hear any more. His mind had blanked out as he let his mouth speak whatever it was it wanted to say. He could barely comprehend what was happening, he was a father…but he was losing his wife. “Can I go see Erika? Can I fucking enter the room?”

The nurse looked at him not questioning his use of profanity and nodded. “You may stand with your companions in the students gallery but if you make any noise sir we are going to have to remove you from the premises. Her condition is incredibly unstable, we’ve put her anesthesia but as of this moment she is being extremely unresponsive to the treatments were administering. We are still not sure if she is going to make it through the bleeding.”

But Jin had heard enough so he grabbed her hand and looked her straight in the eye. “Just take me to where I can see my wife.” The nurse yelped a little as he let go of her hand and she nodded quickly and he followed her.

He was never ever going to forgive himself.

Especially if he lost Erika.


“Administer the blood transfusion!”

“Her heart’s failing! Her pulmonary arteries are deteriorating in effectivity quickly!”

“I’m seeing massive amounts of uterine atony here!”

The sobs that cracked through the gallery were loud and clear as Kuroki Meisa ran out of the gallery unable to take any more of the stress, the pain as she saw her best friend dying in front of her.

Words flew past him but the only words he could remember at the end of the two hours he stared at his wife begging her to come back to him so he could stay by her side forever. He could live in the shadows forever if he had her beside him. Forgive me was all his mind kept repeating as he saw her fight for her life.

He begged the god he didn’t believe in to forgive him and give him his life back. He couldn’t believe that he had been able to push her into early labour and and now push her so far that she was close to death.

He tried his best to ignore the blood he saw on the gloves of the doctors and nurses around Erika but he couldn’t help but stare directly at the way they were so entirely covered with his wife’s life force. His eyes started watering as he collapsed on the chairs up in the gallery and felt Nao’s judging gaze on him as she cried silently to herself.

“I thought you were different.” She uttered softly and it was all Jin could do to defend himself. He was different! He wanted to show his mother-in-law that he would never be Erika’s father. He would never ever be Toda Takuya! He would never hurt his wife beyond repair.

But he had.

“You all want to break us. Make us yours. Claim our life and never let go. Until all that’s left is a wife, not a woman, not a girl, not dreams, not hopes. But duty and misery and a wife. When it comes to your ambitions we mean nothing. When it comes to your work we mean nothing. Even when we’re what you use to escape from the norm we mean nothing, to men we can only be nothing. I WILL NOT LET MY DAUGHTER BE NOTHING.” Nao glared at him with such fury in her eyes that Jin felt himself reduced to a corner as he tried to control the sobs leaving his chest. “What are you going to do if your daughter grows up without a mother? How will you raise her because I will not give you the slightest bit of forgiveness. I will not allow you in my house BUT I will not let you touch my granddaughter and ruin her life the way you’ve affected Eri’s. I will cut you out of this family.” Jin had never seen such passion come forth from the woman who stood quietly by her husband’s side most days. This was the woman who smiled at him every morning as she asked him what he planned to do with his days, the woman who forced Erika into this marriage with him. This woman was strong, she was crying and crumbling in front of him just as he was but she was the strongest woman he had ever seen.

“SHE’S COMING BACK.” They heard someone yell as the screen lit up again.

Nao’s eyes lit up with an emotion that wasn’t wrath as she took in the sight of the doctors racing around her daughter once more before she turned back to her daughter’s husband. “I meant every word I said Akanishi Jin. Remember that.”



this man hated himself.

Author's Chapter End Notes

I can't say anything.

I honestly can say things in front of other chapters

But I can't say anything here.

So yes. thank you for reviewing Shan, wanani and Chri you made my day brighter.

But I'm absolutely positive this didn't make any of my reader's days brighter and I apologize for this profusely...but we are getting into a darker portion of the plotline. This story has always been dark.

But we just got really happy from chapter eight till here huh? I'm sorry.

Fuck it. I'm uploading another one to make you guys happy, if that's even possible.

The next chapter will mark the official commencement of what I like to call Erika pt. 2.

We have a poster for it. That Chri-chan made. If you click next you can see it. =)


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