Reviews For Never Ending Story

burningzoul reviewed Heartache on Apr 28, 2015 10:52 PM [Report This]

This is so painful *sighs* but beautiful all the same. Kudos, Emmalee!

mmizuki951101 reviewed Heartache on Apr 22, 2015 01:14 AM [Report This]

THAT BASTARD TAKA! HOW CAN HE NOT COME TO VISIT AFTER SO LONG?! your writing has really improved Ems, it really has evolved into something much much better. however if you want to improve further, here are some of my advice to you:

1) once again, dialogue has taken over your writing. i'm not saying that it's bad. actually dialogue can really help to make the story move. however, some dialogue is unnecessary. so you should cut down on unnecessary dialogues.

2) develop your characters more. if it was simply a one-shot, you could get away with 1-dimentional characters. but since this is a multi-chapter fic, it is important for readers to be able to connect with the characters. no matter how good the plot, if the readers can't identify with the characters, it takes away the "oomph factor" making the story less exciting. by giving them little quirks, or things like Emmalee's backstory (e.g why she ended up so depressed) or why taka started his own self-harm is essential in showing your readers the other facets of their personality. and keep in mind not just to only focus on the main characters, but also on the supporting characters in your fic. like talia and toru, what is their relationship with the main characters? what made them that way? etc etc

Anyways please don't get disappointed and disheartened by what i mentioned. like i've mentioned, this is is a very good attempt and your writing has improved by leaps and bounds.

i know that judging by all my existing fics i'm not a good writer, but those points that i've mentioned are what i learnt when i was on haitus. and i sincerely want you to learn them too so that you can soar to greater heights. anyways i am very impressed with the fact that you've completed this fic HAHA! my track record isn't good with muti-chapters, i always end up abandoning them HAHAHA.

Overall, good job and keep up the good work!

mmizuki951101 reviewed Never Let This Go on Apr 22, 2015 12:49 AM [Report This]

shit. this is scary. and the thought that the ever present taka is giving up? thats even scarier.

mmizuki951101 reviewed Let Life Be on Apr 22, 2015 12:45 AM [Report This]

taka begginf for sex, now thats funny HAHAHA! from the way you portrayed him, i'd expected a long queue of girls waiting in line to fuck him, not the other way round! but seriously, it's heartbreaking to read all these suicidal tendencies and self hurt. it's absolutely terrifying to sink into such deep depression. anyways good job on this chapter!

mmizuki951101 reviewed Clock Strikes on Apr 22, 2015 12:36 AM [Report This]

Talia is sooooo protective HAHA! just like a mother tiger xD aaaand i just realised 6 chapters late that all your chapters are named after OOR songs! LOL! good job!

mmizuki951101 reviewed Voice on Apr 22, 2015 12:32 AM [Report This]

seeing all the angst and hurt just makes me wanna grab you, hug you, and never let go. on a side note, taka is soooooo sweet HAHAHA!

burningzoul reviewed Smiling Down on Jan 19, 2015 01:53 AM [Report This]

Finally an update! Keep going, this is getting good. Bet you the foreign band at the club is taka and his friends, yeah?
Author's Response: Thank you so much! And we'll see ;)

Christine reviewed Smiling Down on Dec 29, 2014 08:01 AM [Report This]

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm so happy you updated!!!!
My God this story is so intense! It is definitely not for the weak hearted...but that is why I love it.
The way you write certain things in detail it makes my breath heavier and I have to stop reading for a couple of seconds. I love it when that happens because it means the I am feeling every word.
Hahaha Talia is so cute at wanting to get all dolled up for Koyama and omfg Taka is so sweet giving her the jacket!
It seems as though they moment she left his side her world became cold and empty again...
update soon I want to read more!
xxx
love you to bits Em
Author's Response: Thank you boo! I love you too and I'm so glad you like it! xxx

SakuraNobuto reviewed The Beginning on Nov 28, 2014 11:05 PM [Report This]

I really liked it. i hope you contiue if you have not done so already.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm updating very soon!

biniBningPunkista reviewed The Beginning on Jul 12, 2014 12:25 PM [Report This]

Oh Emmalee this was cute... i liked that bit: "Hello? Miss? Hello?" God has an accent? "

this made me smile. hehe ^_^v
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you like it!
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