OMG I totally loved your story. It was very original, funny and so cute. I loved the whole concept of half-angels, half-demons, etc. I know it's not new but it's refreshing to read something like this!
I laughed out loud:
- when Cisarath set Takahisa on fire. XD Now I can see why she's a half-demon.
- everytime Cisarath said she would cut Takahisa's Christmas bells lmao XD
- everytime Takahisa touched Cisarath's horns XD (kinky!)
This part was the best part:
"Is there?" Nishikido mused. "What is your reason for staying on Earth? What does it have that is so great?"
Neither one could say anything because neither wanted to stay on Earth. That was the whole point of doing all this, so they could stay in their respective homes.
"So? Do you think it is worth staying in this world?"
I also like the fact that the girl is a half-demon and the boy a half-angel. It would be a cliché if you chose to do otherwise (bad boy and good girl cliché). I also like the details you added in the descriptions, for example:
- Takahisa slept with his wings out because it's more comfortable.
- Takahisa bruised one of his wings because he fell on his butt.
- Cisarath wore a hat to hide her horns.
- Takahisa and Cisarath made sure their wings and horns were hidden before they opened the door to the nameless tenant.
- The double feeling of Cisarath's skin Takahisa had when they were making out lol
- Etc. etc. etc.
Seriously, all these little details are very important and they can make a big difference between a good well-written story and a great well-written story. Thumbs up! You did a great job! ^_^ By the way, is Gackt the nameless tenant? (I just saw his name in the characters.)
I love your writing style and your grammar, verb tenses and punctuation were very good. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story with us!
If you don't mind, I'd like to point out a few errors I noticed. I'm going to correct them for you since you can't edit your story until the reveal day (Dec 26th). =)
1. The angel countered as they access the bathroom area. = The angel countered as they accessed
the bathroom area.
2. I have a soft spot for couples, such as you, in distressed. = I have a soft spot for couples, such as you, in distress
3. She was surrounded by the angel's arms and wings, which had a dull white glow, perceptible but so soft that it didn't disturbed her eyes. = She was surrounded by the angel's arms and wings, which had a dull white glow, perceptible but so soft that it didn't disturb
4. "Fuck everything!" she snapped and presser her lips against his [...] = "Fuck everything!" she snapped and pressed
her lips against his [...]
5. He was interrupted by a rapid nock on the door. = He was interrupted by a rapid k
nock on the door.
6. They rummage the bag looking for clothes. = They rummaged
the bag looking for clothes.
Author's Response: Sorry it took so long to answer this!!! Even if I did sort of answer xD
Actually, that bit about cutting his Christmas bells was the first thing that came to mind and then the rest of the story developed after that hahaha
And the bit about the horns, I thought it gave a nice touch to make de half angel a little kinky hehe
Thank you so much!! I'm so happy you noticed all those little details xD Thank you for the comments, I'm happy you enjoyed the story so much and thank you for the corrections! :)