Eyeslikeatoms reviewed Chapter 3 on Jun 16, 2012 11:24 AM [Report This]

:O What an ending to a chapter! Now I REALLY wanna know whats gonna happen.

You made a lot of improvement in this chapter :) I could follow the conversations better and it had the right flow.


and im not giving you the best rating yet, cause i think you'll do even better soon ;)
but right now im waiting for the next chapter ^^ update soon please

Gambatte ne?

Eyeslikeatoms reviewed Chapter 1 on Jun 02, 2012 10:36 AM [Report This]

I really think this is promising. The beginning is very good, I got a clear image of Mei and her brother. You were describing details and the actions of the people. It was like you painted a picture with your words.For example "The girl peeked at the bag her older brother was holding" it's just a small thing, but it really makes it easier to focus on the story.

Can you maybe add translations to the japanese sayings or greetings in the end notes? It might be helpful for people like me who sometimes get confused while reading/listening to different languages on the same day.

I liked the rest too, but I sometimes wished a little more describing like in the beginning. You introduced the other characters a bit fast so i got confused. So telling things more slowly might be good ( this might just be me being biased since i love long stories)

but on the whole I got a good feeling and am waiting for more. I'm really anticipating what the plot you're planning is :3 Just take it a bit more slower maybe :)
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. (: I really appreciate it. You are right, I should add translations to the Japanese sayings or greetings in case readers do not understand Japanese. I will take note of the details part too. Thank you once again. :D
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